WEEK 1

building the foundations

Understanding Stress - The Science

Before we jump into doing the ‘work’ - the mindfulness, insight and the journaling our way back to our well-being and all the deliciousness of looking inward, we have to start with our physical self. There’s no way to inquire to find out what our true self wants and needs if we are sitting in a state of stress. If your nervous system is sitting in a constantly stressed state, you haven’t slept properly in days (weeks or even months), you’re hungry or feeling in need of food that makes you feel amazing or your heart is racing from the latest argument that you have had, then you will find it impossible to be present enough to look inward for that self-actualisation.

At the core of our wellbeing sits our nervous system. This is the incredibly complex communication system that’s been honed over hundreds of thousands of years. This is the ancient part of our being and it is incredible. It is a system of cells, nerves and electricity that send messages to and from our brain, sensory organs, spinal cord and various parts of our body. Simply put, it’s the system that controls our responses. Our nervous system controls our voluntary movements (like our fingers and hands when we pick something up) and the involvement movements (such as the muscles that allow us to breath, even as we speak).

The system that controls our voluntary responses is called the AUTONOMIC NERVOUS SYSTEM (ANS) and can be divided into two parts: the sympathetic nervous system and the parasympathetic nervous system.

The sympathetic nervous system is the one that activates our Fight, Flight and Freeze response - the what-you-do-when-confronted-by-a-sabre-toothed-tiger sort of response. The parasympathetic nervous system is our Rest, Digest and Restore system that allows us to restore a state of calm and clear thinking. This part is important because if you are in a state of fight, flight or freeze (which can be brought on from anything from a scary news headline, argument or a child nose-diving from a sofa!) then you will find it impossible to move to a state of calm, awareness insight (this is where we can think creatively, problem solve and dream big).

At our essence we are creatures that want to feel safe. From the very first breath that we take, we are on a quest to feel safe, loved and ‘happy’. We seek out dopamine whenever we can and we crave safety. Our whole internal system is wired to be on the look out for danger and keep us safe. We aren’t the fastest of creatures, we aren’t the biggest or deadliest. We rely on our senses to keep us safe, however this beautifully complex system doesn’t always know what dangers are literally life threatening. This means our modern world can sometimes look and feeling incredibly scary.

Later I will share what breathwork, meditation, mantras, sleep and even the food we eat does to our overall health but I wanted to share a couple powerful exercises to get you started. If you try these with an open mind, a sense of fun, I promise you that you will feel the results! Actually, fun is a big part of this course, it’s not spoken about a lot as a mum. Fun seems like something that is really for kids or those that don’t need to be ‘on’ all the time. Remember, this course is for you and fun is a big part of that.

 
“We are capable of so much more than we usually dare to imagine”
— Sharon Salzberg
 

WEEK 1 TOOL BOX

  • I love this. It’s simple, can be done anywhere, at anytime and immediately calms your nervous system. Brene Brown has taught this to Navy Seals so I figure that it is good enough for us mums too. Let’s be honest, motherhood often feels like Navy Seal Training!

    • Start by sitting comfortably, with a straight back but soft. If you want, pull your shoulder blades in gently to give you a beautifully straight spine.

    • Now, empty out your lungs of all the air.

    • Then, gently, slowly inhale through your nose for a (slow) count of 4 - say out in your mind as you go.

    • Hold the breath for the same, slow count of 4.

    • Exhale through your mouth for the same, slow count of 4.

    • Hold your breath, with empty lungs for the same, slow count of 4.

    Repeat these steps as many times as you need until you can feel your heart rate slow and a sense of calm to settle over you.

  • Again, I love this one. I’ve used this on everything from public speaking to a toddler that has driven me witless. You can also use this one with kids.

    Say outloud or in your mind:

    - 5 things you can see

    - 4 things you can touch or feel

    - 3 things that you can hear

    - 2 things that you can smell

    - 1 thing you can taste

    The beauty of this is that you don’t need to remember the exact order, just keep in mind that finding 5 things to taste maybe a little tough!

    • Get comfortable, I find it easier seated. Place one hand on your heart and the other hand on your belly.

    • Take a big, deep breath in through the nose and as you exhale slowly out, make a long ‘voooooo’ sound until all the air has been emptied from your lungs. You will feel this with your hand as well.

    • Keep doing this until you feel yourself calm, your heart rate slow and your mind stills back into the here and now.

    These exercises are each designed to move you from fight, flight and freeze into the rest, digest and restore system. It’s also important to add here that stress isn’t always a bad thing. It’s simply a response. You won’t ever rid yourself of stress, what I hope you achieve is that you recognise when you are triggered, you get to decide the next steps.

 

Journal Prompts

  • In what ways are you being triggered by stress on a daily basis? What impact do they have on your life and your wellbeing?

  • Stress isn’t always bad, in fact it can be useful to push us forward and help us to do things we wouldn’t normally. Think about 3 times when you’ve experienced short-term stress when it has been helpful and potentially even empowering.

  • What would you do differently if you didn’t react to stress as you currently do? What difference would it make in your life.

  • What would your life look like if you were to take time out throughout the day to pause, return to your body and come back to the present moment instead of moving back to the past or forward into the future.

  • If you had 5 lives to live, what would you do in each of them? Go big, go bold, have fun. Don’t over think these and don’t worry about if they are right or wrong.

    A physiotherapist, a psychic, a doctor, an actor, an author, a singer, musician… don’t hold yourself back with any of these 5.

 
 
Next

Week 2