week 2
Heal it, feel it
BIOFEEDBACK
Happy body, happy mind. Calm body, calm mind.
Let's go back and look at stress again. When we get stressed out, what is actually happening is that our mind processes things happening around us and that then ripples through to our behaviours. Now, the way in which we process these events whether it’s our kids, a work presentation, a flooded bathroom, a crazy dog that we pass on a morning walk, depends completely on our perception. What becomes tricky is our perception is shaped from our childhood experiences. Everything from childhood events to what we learnt from those around us.
Biofeedback is the practice of understanding and developing awareness of our body’s responses. We naturally shift and adjust from various levels of consciousness all the time, a great example is when we are driving. When we get into the car we sit in the present moment but then our mind can drift into autopilot when we drive somewhere familiar. Biofeedback is ultimately self-regulation. If we are out running and you can no longer breath properly, you slow down. All of this is really important because our mind will send the same message of threat or stress through our body whether we are dealing with that work presentation or an actual physical threat like an actual sabre tooth tiger. Even more importantly, if you are living with chronic low stress, we may not realise that the steady build up of stress can become dangerous. Think about the frog in hot water metaphor!
As we become more aware of our mind/body connection, it's possible for us to really understand our triggers and know our body’s reaction, doing this allow us to self-regulate and consciously change the physical impact of stressful situations on our body through relaxation techniques. When we allow our heart rate, our blood flow, our blood pressure and our general state of arousal to move from stress into calm we start to bring our mind, body, spirit back into alignment. It means that we can start to feel at peace with ourselves and our environment and bring ourselves back to our core self. This is important because if we can't bring ourself back to the present moment then we cannot think clearly, communicate with others, even our bodily functions are out of alignment because of the fight, flight and freeze reaction. Learning how to train your mind - body system will allow you to calm your body and have it function as it should, control and understand your emotions and in turn allow your thinking mind to kick back in.
“Healing may not be so much about getting better as about letting go of everything that isn’t you - all of the expectations, all of the beliefs - and becoming who you are”
Activities
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Create a self-care checklist that has 10 of your favourite things to calm yourself. This can be anything from going for a walk, reading a book, a warm shower in candle-light. Anything that helps to calm you and reconnect you with your body.
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Listen to your hands and feet: Have you ever noticed that even on the hottest day that your hands can be cold? Our hands and feet tell us so much more than we usually realise about our mind/body connection. When our nervous system is in chronic overdrive, an automatic protection system gets triggered.
An increase in the stress hormone, adrenaline causes the blood to flow away from our hands and feet and into our core, to protect our organs from danger. This leaves is with icy cold extremities. Now, cold hands can sometimes be other conditions, they can tell us when our flight, fright or freeze mode has been activated. As the blood flows to our core, our heart rate increases, muscles start to tense and our digestive system isn’t a priority (who really wants to go to the toilet when chased by a hungry tiger!). Our entire rest, digest, repair response is suppressed so that our body can harness all the energy needed to keep us alive.
When you notice your hands or feet get cold, make yourself a hot drink and wrap your fingers around the mug to warm them. Make sure you have your cosiest slippers or socks. Even let warm water run over your hands to soothe them. These will all send important signals to the brain to activate the parasympathetic nervous system (the calming one).
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List 10 tiny changes that you'd like to make for yourself - from big to small, or vice versa (new candles, a weekend away, get a new car, clear out my junk draw).
When you write it, do so like this:
I would like to ________
Pick one item from your list to do this week.
Journal Prompts
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List out 5 really important activities that you have this week. How much time did you give to each one? Which were what you wanted to do and which were shoulds? How much time do you spend helping others vs what you want? Who are your energy zappers and stop you from doing the things you want?
Take a sheet of paper, draw a circle and in that circle write out the things that you need to protect. Then write the names of the people that support you. Now, outside the circle write the names of those that you need to be wary of at the moment. Add names to the inner and outer circle as you need.
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List 20 things that you enjoy doing. When was the last time that you let yourself do these things? Next to each entry, write the date that you last did it.
If you’re feeling adventurous - do one thing from this list.
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Write a love letter to your body. Write about the things you have said to it that are mean and ask it to forgive you. Write about the times when you have been unreasonable, harsh and mean. Know that as you did these things that you were doing the best that you could at the time.
Now, write down the things that you really do like about yourself. Be honest but do find at least 3 things. These could even be what your body has allowed and does allow you to do.
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Return to the list of imaginary lives, add 5 more lives. Again, check to see whether you could be doing bits and pieces from these lives in the one that you are living now. If you listed being a dancer, do you ever go dancing? If it was artist, do you draw or paint?