SELF-CARE PRACTICES IN AN EVER CHANGING WORLD
Self-care, I actually don’t love this as a description. I’m not sure if it’s because it’s a buzz word now or that it is so incredibly overused and misunderstood, whatever the reason it always gives me a little niggle. Regardless it does what it says on the packet if used wisely and with thought.
We live in a world where things change at the speed of light, sometimes for the better sometimes not. We have media bombarding us with horror stories, some true, some magnified, some falsified. Recently here in New Zealand, we’ve had one of the strictest (and ongoing) Covid lockdowns as well as a horrific terrorism attack. Things like this leave a scar at the best of times add in the global stage and it can sometimes feel a bit too much. So, with all of these things going on around us, how to we not only cope well but thrive in our new, ever changing world?
Well, for me, if I strength myself then I can strengthen my family, friends and clients. I’m no good to anyone if I get too wobbly and spiral. It really is as the saying goes,
MAKE SURE YOU PUT YOUR OWN OXYGEN MASK ON FIRST
Move past or through the feelings of selfishness or discomfort and learn to listen to what you truly need. If you do this, I promise that you will be able to pull on the strength that you need and do so with an open heart. We cannot change the events around us but we can choose how we view our own place in the world.
Here are a few things that you might like to think about:
ROUTINE, ROUTINE, ROUTINE
Yep, you know that this is a goodie and sounds simple but it can feel a bit like “what’s the point” in all honesty though if you build yourself a routine it can make everything a little easier and stop the day from turning into one long unproductive mess. Now, I’m not saying that you have to Marie Kondo your space, take up knitting (although this one I do recommend giving a go!), take up gourmet cooking or anything that you may here others doing. Simply creating a morning and evening routine can make you feel like you are a bit more in control.
MEDITATION
This is my go-to for being a good human!! It’s one of my ‘big rock - non-negotiables’ because it really does help me to adapt to change, check-in with myself and really take stock of how I’m doing, how my people are and what is needed. It breaks the chain when it comes to spirals and it helps me to get really clear. When things are super tough, I’ll use a guided meditation (if you’re in NZ take a look at SOMM classes they are amazing, even if I am biased!) you can try ones where you are part of a group or on your own with an app. When I am after insight or inquiry I just grab my sheepskin, cushion and throw and sit.
CREATIVE SPARK
Using creativity to deactivate your flight or flight (stress response) is a game changer and it’s something that is fairly new for me but I’m loving it. I’m half-way through The Artist’s Way and it is really lighting up my creative brain. Painting, knitting, cooking and sometimes, just sitting and reading. Try something new, pick up something old but give it a go!
CREATURE COMFORTS
Take the time to lose yourself in a movie, podcast, series, book or even a magazine. A little moment of distraction or escaping to another setting is absolutely necessary and healthy! I have movies that I will re-watch again and again because of how I felt when I first watched them. I’m the same with books. You may need to find something new to get your mind engaged, whatever you need right now, do it!
WRITE IT OUT
Feeling wobbly and twisted inside out? Then write about it. Grab a pen and notebook and write it all out. Get it out of your mind and on to paper. Your mind can’t dwell on things as you write them. Don’t worry what it is that you are writing, it’s not for anyone to read - it’s for you. Need a prompt?
”How do I feel right now? What is it that I need or need to hear?”Start here and see what shows up.
CONNECTION
It can be really easy to forget that there’s a bigger world out there and to feel isolated and alone. Take the time to check in with loved ones, schedule in FaceTime or Zoom dates. Have dinner together heck watch movies together! Find out how others are doing. Feeling connected with your social circles can do big things for our mental health.
SOMETHING THAT YOU MIGHT WANT TO KEEP AN EYE ON:
THE NEWS
When we first went into lockdown I was obsessed with checking what was happening. The daily updates, the news online, everything that I could get my beady little eyes across. Did it help? Not at all. In fact (surprise, surprise) it made everything so much worse. So I banned myself and allowed myself 1 check-in per day (compared to the 20,000 times that I was doing when I was left to my own devices!) and it was once the kids had gone to sleep. Now, I’m even less fussed and don’t check for a couple of days.
SOCIAL MEDIA
Ah, social media. It can be as good as it can be bad. You sit down to check how friends are doing and before you know it, it’s been hours and rabbit warrens later and you are left beating yourself up for wasting time. Perhaps it’s more to do with the fact that all the accounts you follow make you feel down and miserable as you scroll. Again, limit yourself and perhaps do a clear out of accounts that you follow. If it makes you sad, unfollow!
CAFFEINE
I love coffee. Everyone that knows me, knows this. We are lucky enough to have a cafe-worthy machine and I now know how to use it (this took many, many months and many tutorials!) and in previous lockdowns I hit the caffeine hard and guess what, it bit back. A little while ago I went away on a meditation retreat and gave up the bean for 2 weeks. This has completely changed my relationship with coffee and how I drink it. Do take the time to work out how caffeine impacts both your mind and your body and be kind to yourself. Don’t become a dribbling mess, rocking in the corner because you went a little nutty with coffee! I am absolutely not saying give it up, just use moderation and try some new drinks to substitute your caffeine fix, I love turmeric drinks and have a little Cacao ritual that I would never use as much if I hadn’t cut my coffee intake.
ALCOHOL
This is another, approach with moderation! It may seem appealing to wind down in the evenings, especially when things are tense and stressful but again just take note of how you are feeling and know your limits. It seems unnecessary to say this and it isn’t me telling anyone what to do either. Just know that it will make things worse if you are binging or overindulging on a regular basis. Just check-in with yourself to see what you need and when it is too much. There are some amazing alcohol free drinks that can give you the very same ritual without the headache. My favourites are Seedlip, Lyres and AF.