The tools for growth
Growth is an interesting thing. I’m not sure about you, I always thought that growth was something that just ‘happened’ to us. That it was a right of passage, a passing of time. The older - ahem - wiser and more experienced that I get, I think that it’s less that growth is inevitable, rather, it is change that is inevitable.
What’s the difference you ask? Well, this is my spin on it, so bear with me. Change is the constant, nothing in life is permanent. We change, the people in our lives change, our environment changes. Hell. If the last few years have taught us nothing else, at least they have shown us how EVERYTHING can change. Now, we can’t control change. We have to roll with it, but that takes a few things for us to be able to flow with the changes. Change happens whether we are aware of it or not.
Growth, well, this is quite different. For growth, we need to conscious, eyes open. We need to see it, meet it, it is in our control - BUT and it’s a big but - we have to chose it. Growth, is a choice. Change, not so much. Ok, make sense? Maybe you agree, maybe you don’t. This has very much been my experience though. I used to think that I was amazing with change, that I was skilled at it, show me change and I would face it head on! Interestingly, when I started meditating regularly (specifically it’s been since I’ve practiced Awareness Insight Meditation) that I started to get this nagging feeling. The more that it tapped away in my mind, the bigger it grew until it was so big that it was a thought that I’d almost chew on, just like chewing gum… I wasn’t actually that good with change, not at all. Not even a little bit. I knew how to do it, but I resisted. Rebelled. Fought it. HATED IT. I would often make it way more harder than it needed to be.
Now growth, this was something that I was learning. I was very much into this with a beginners mind, and that was working really well for me. I was embracing things that normally I wouldn’t and learning how to have an open mind. One of the things that surprised me with motherhood was how important my relationship was with change and growth. Going through one of the biggest transformations had shown me just how important it was for me to get to grips with growth and change. I’ve not been shy when talking about how motherhood knocked me for six when it came to my sense of identity, purpose, values … how I saw myself, how I saw the world. I have found that a growth mindset is one of the most powerful things that you can give yourself when it comes to feeling a little adrift. I’m going to share with you some of the growth tools that have been outrageously helpful for me.
THE VISION BOARD
I won’t lie, when I first was introduced to the idea of a vision board in my adult life I sneered at it. I didn’t put a lot of stock in it and I think I know why. Doing something like a vision board requires truth and insight - a couple of things that I wasn’t ready for if I’m honest. I was never honest with myself when it came to the things that I wanted the most. These were things that I kept at arms length. That way, I didn’t have to risk losing them. Now though, gosh they can be a wonderfully powerful thing if they are done right. I have a physical one as well as a digital one. I tend to them in the same way that others garden. Pruning, growing, watching, nourishing. They help me to see what I actually want, vs what I think that I want. It helps as I change, because so does my board. The things that I wanted in my 20’s are so different from what I want now. That’s all fine too. In fact, it’s exactly as it should be.
JOURNALING PROMPTS
I love to write. It’s a creative, healing outlet for me. Journaling prompts are wonderful for bringing to life what you are thinking about, dreaming about. I use prompts to make things real. If the vision board is the synopsis, then the journaling prompts are the chapters. I get to dream, visualise, to bring to life how I want to look, feel, be. You can create your own or use any of the hundreds that are around the place.
VALUES
I love values. I use them a lot, always have done. As we grow, change, adapt so do our values. What was once important doesn’t always stay important. What success use to look like to me, is quite different these days. Again, that is ok and how it should be. I’ve not always been quite as clear as I am now with my values, but I’ve always had a touch on them. They are important because you get to see if how you are living, the actions and decisions that you make are in alignment. Are you living your values? If you’re not, can you realign? Maybe you can’t hit all of them but can you make changes for the most important ones? Even asking yourself this question is hugely powerful. Knowing your values, this takes you closer to your goals, dreams and living a life you love.
What are your tools for growth? Have you used any of the above? What works for you and what would you like to try?